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No Girls Allowed (Digific, Ch. 3)

Title: No Girls Allowed
Author: Schnickledooger
Rating: T/PG-13
Genre: Romance/Humor
Summary: Jun keeps popping up in the most unexpected places. Tai is not pleased, especially when it gives his friends the wrong impression.

Ch.1 Revenge

Ch.2 Backfired

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. Toei Animation does.

Ch.3 The Way To A Man's Heart Is…

"Hey, Taichi-san, your girlfriend's looking for you!" crowed one of his classmates during lunch break.

Tai looked up from eating his bento and did a quick sweep of the classroom until he finally caught sight of Jun standing in the doorway doing her own search. Tai stood a textbook upright on his desk and slouched down low in his chair to hide his head behind it and hoped she wouldn't notice him.

No such luck.

"Quit acting like a two-year sulking. We need to talk!" Jun ordered marching over to his desk and yanking his cover away.

"We have nothing to talk about," Tai said turning sideways in his chair, pointedly ignoring her.

"Treating his girlfriend like that—so mean!" one of his female classmates whispered to her friends sitting at their desks grouped together.

"No wonder I hear she's dumping him. What a jerk," whispered another.

"Ah, ah," came a chorus of agreements.

Tai stabbed his chopsticks into his rice irritably.

"Motomiya-san, leave Taichi-san and go out with me! I'll treat you right!" exclaimed a member of the baseball club leaning in too far into her personal space.

"Too close!" Jun shouted swinging her balled hand backwards and nailing a wicked punch to the guy's face without even turning around.

Tai stared at the boy knocked out on the floor, a trickle of blood leaking out of his nose, and then up at Jun who was busy cracking her knuckles in preparation and suddenly felt fear replace the irritation.

"We can do this he easy way or I do the same to you and then haul you out of here by your gigantic, Saint Seiyan hair," the girl growled threateningly.

Tai wasn't sure what was worse: him giving in and following her or his classmates' mad chanting of "Junichi! Junichi! Junichi!" on their way out.

oOo

"Alright, I've thought about it a good long while and I think I've come to a conclusion on how to show Matt my intentions towards him are honest and true," Jun stated as she paced back and forth on the school's rooftop where she had led them.

Tai rolled his eyes where he stood leaning against the rooftop's railing with his arms crossed. He supposed he could have told her Matt wouldn't want to be with her if they were the last two people left on the planet, but he doubted she would believe him. So, in the meantime until she came to this realization herself, he would have to suffer and endure.

"Grandmother has always told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach" so I've decided to make Matt a bento everyday and I want to prepare his favorite food, so you have to tell me what it is!" Jun declared in one large breath. "Well?" she demanded when Tai remained silent.

"I don't know," Tai shrugged and it was true. There wasn't anything specific that he could recall Matt eating or any special ingredients he would buy. "Matt is perfectly capable of making his own meals by the way," he felt he should add, remembering all the times he had gone over to his friend's apartment to find Matt fixing dinner for his dad.

"A man who can cook!" Jun squealed excitedly, that now-familiar star-stricken expression floating across her face.

"Yeah, so there's no need for you go through with this crazy scheme of yours," Tai said.

"Wrong!" Jun screeched. "Wrong, wrong, wrong! It is now even more important than ever that I prove to Matt I am wife material! That I can and will do household duties such as cooking even when I know that my husband can perform the same task probably far better! I have to do this! This role Hestia herself has bestowed upon all females! I will do this and I shall triumph!"

"Okay, then, have fun," Tai said trying to slink off. Anytime someone started ranting about ancient Greek goddesses it was definitely time to leave.

"Hold it!" Jun cried, snapping her attention back to him. "If you don't know Matt's favorite food then you will just have to ask him and find out!"

"If you hadn't noticed, he's not exactly talking to me at the moment," Tai said refreshing her memory.

"You're just going to have to apologize and make up then," Jun stated matter-of-factly.

"I am not apologizing!" Tai exclaimed heatedly. "Besides this is all your fault for coming here in the first place!"

"You apologize to Matt or else," Jun bit out.

"Or else what?" Tai asked with narrowed eyes.

"Or else… this!" Jun shouted, whipping out a photograph and holding it out in front of her so Tai could see its embarrassing contents.

"Where'd you get that?" Tai shrieked loosing his composure completely, feeling the blood rush to his face.

"I have my sources," Jun stated evasively. "Now go to Matt and apologize and find out his favorite food or I'm posting copies of this all over the school and everyone will see you mooning them with your pink butt," she warned, waving the picture tauntingly.

"You do that to your own boyfriend?" Tai questioned incredulously.

"They won't know it was me. Don't worry, I can act shocked too, see?" Jun said, widening her eyes and opening her eyes in a little 'o' of surprise. "Now are you going to quit stalling and do what I told you?"

"Or I can just take the picture from you instead," Tai declared.

Jun raised both eyebrows, locked gazes with him… then stuffed the photograph down the front of her uniform in the space of a heartbeat. "Try it if you dare," she invited him taking a bold hands-on-hips stance.

Tai stared at her for several seconds, shook his head in disbelief and turned to go.

Before whirling back around and lunging wildly at her.

Jun let out a startled scream and dashed into the rooftop entrance, fairly sprinting down the stairwell, Tai fast at her heels.

"You would attack a defenseless girl?" she screeched double-jumping steps.

"YOU'RE NOT A GIRL! YOU'RE A DEMON! AND YOU'RE CERTAINLY NOT DEFENSELESS!" Tai bellowed enraged.

In a manner that would put a pro-football player to shame, he leaped forward and tackled her around the ankles sending both of them crashing through the second floor exit door. The landed in a heap on the floor both winded from their abrupt flight. Tai recovered first and in a flash he was sitting on top of her legs so she couldn't move and patting down her sides trying to feel where the photograph was.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaah! Pervert! Taichi-san is a pervert!" shrieked a female on-looker pointing at him.

"S-s-sexual harassment!" shouted another.

"Where do you think you're touching?" Jun yelled as Tai's hands roved a little too high for comfort, and with a snap of her head she had sunk her teeth into her assailant's arm like an ill-tempered billy goat.

Tai rolled off her with a pained cry and then Jun was standing over him attempting to smash his head open like an eggshell with her feet. She managed to score one hit of her heel to his eye before the teachers' cavalry arrived at the scene and pulled them apart.

oOo

"Are they really suspending you for sexual harassment?" Matt asked intrigued as he stood by Tai's bedside in the school's infirmary.

"They were going to until Jun laughed in their faces and said if that was sexual harassment my future wife was going to be very disappointed," Tai said in too much pain to question Matt's presence, his left cheek sore and bruised from where Jun had kicked it earlier. "Then she somehow convinced them we were practicing a skit for the school's Talent Show, so all they did was warn us to practice somewhere else next time. Why are you here anyway?" he asked looking at him through a swollen eyelid. "I thought we were fighting."

"Hey, don't get me wrong," Matt said. "I'm still mad at you and think you haven't suffered nearly enough, but I can't help feeling sorry for you. It's got to be rough being Jun's boyfriend."

"God, Matt, don't you start on me now too," Tai moaned. "It's bad enough with everyone else thinking that. Give me a break."

"Any chance on you sharing with me what you were 'sexually harassing' her for?' Matt questioned with a grin.

"Remember that trip all of us took up to Honshu to visit the hot springs and they had that tourist attraction where you could put on a Macaque monkey costume and take pictures of and you told me not to do it because things like are liable to come back and haunt you when you least expected it?" Tai asked.

"Yeah…" Matt said slowly.

"Well, you were right," Tai grimaced.

"How did Jun even know about that much less get a hold of one of those shots?" Matt wondered.

"She's the spawn of Satan. She's omniscient. She can walk through walls and crawl through tvs," Tai rambled breaking out into a cool sweat as he hyperventilated.

"Calm down," Matt said. "Why was she threatening you with that anyway?"

"She wanted me to apologize to you and find out your favorite food so she can make you bento and show off her wifely attributes," Tai shamelessly told.

"Bento? I'm going to be stuck eating her cooking until she graduates?" Matt shuddered at the thought.

"Sorry, she's relentless."

"Well, just make something up," Matt said. "Tell her something that's too much trouble to prepare and maybe she'll give up. Something like onigara-yaki."

"Lobster? Are you serious?" Tai asked. "Oh, the fame of a celebrity is going to your head, isn't it? You sure you still want to attend this school and mingle with such commoners?"

"Shut up," Matt said, clamping down on a grin. "So… would you have?"

"What?"

"Apologized. If, you know, you hadn't lost your head and started sexually harassing people," Matt said looking everywhere but at Tai.

"Heh… I dunno. Maybe," Tai replied, fingering the hem of his bed sheet. "Maybe… I'm apologizing right now?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"We're cool?"

"We're cool."

They stayed there in an awkward silence shooting sheepish smiles at each other, each one reading I missed you, and somehow Tai found himself feeling very grateful towards the circumstances that had put him there. Because, really, compared to gaining a friend back, gaining a sore jaw was nothing.

oOo

"Why do I have to eat it? I thought you cooked it for Matt!"

"I can't just feed this to Matt! I've never cooked lobster before! What if I give him food poisoning? Now open up!"

"I refuse to be your guinea pig!"

"Get back here this instant, you coward!"

"It's not a matter of cowardice! It's a matter of survival and self-preservation!"

"Remember the picture, you pink-cheeked, furry baboon!"

"Damn yoooou!"

Fwumph!

CRASH!

"KYAAAAAAH! TAICHI-SAN IS AT IT AGAIN!"

"SEXUAL HARASSMENT!"

Riiiiiip!

"HAHA! THE EVIDENCE HAS BEEN DESTROYED!"

"I HAVE NEGATIVES! NOW TAKE IT LIKE MAN AND EAT THE BOILED CRUSTACEAN!"

To Be Continued…

A/N: I'll be brief here because I have a cold. First of all, Macaque monkeys (snow monkeys) are native to Japan and dwell near the hot springs. Hehe, I know what you guys were thinking when Jun first said "pink butt". Shame on you for having your mind in the gutter!^^ Hestia is the Greek goddess of the family and hearth. She would be the deity young girls would try and follow her shining example of domesticity. Onigara-yaki is cooked lobster. I just wanted a fancy Japanese meal and was too tired to look up a plethora of recipes so I went with that. Bento is a box-lunch of course and in Japan, it depends on which school the student goes to, but it is not uncommon for them to eat lunch in the classroom or go to the rooftop during break. In fact, most anime and live drama fans will see this setting a lot. I think I got this chapter out so quickly because I was inspired by watching Hana Kimi and Hana Yori Dango as well as Nobuta wo Produce. I just love Japanese high school comedies!

I wrote this all in one setting. I am having tremendous fun writing this fic! Tai and Jun are a hoot! I already know and have planned out the ending, but I'm going to take my time getting there. If you have any prompts you want to see in the fic, tell me and I'll see if I can fit them in.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this! Please review and share your thoughts. I love hearing what you liked best and it's the only reward a fanfic author gets. I like knowing what my readers think and feel. Thank you!^^

On to next chapter Love Is A Jealous Thing

 


 

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